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- George Gray Another true story. I was on an exercise at the NTC in the Mojave desert. I and a female soldier were assigned to drive a jeep 30 miles out into the wilderness to set up a RDF (Radio Direction Finder) kit. After the 2-hour ride, the first thing I had to do upon arrival was to relieve myself.

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Three marines are walking through the woods and come across a set of tracks. the first marine says, "those are deer tracks." second disagrees "them are elk tracks" the third disagrees with both of them"those are moose tracks" they were still arguing when the train hit them. 14. How do you say "helicopter"in the Marine Corps?

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Five Most Dangerous Comments A military private saying "I learned this in boot camp…" A military sergeant lieutenant saying "Based on my experience…" A military captain saying "I was just thinking…" A military warrant officer saying "Okay now watch this shit…"

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Top 101 Marine Corps Jokes: Why don't Marines play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when "Oorah!" is always on the tip of your tongue! Why did the Marine bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house. Why do Marines always carry a map? So they can avoid the Army. Why did the Marine put his bed in the freezer?

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Joke #1 What do soldiers do when they find a scorpion in their tent? In the Marines, they kill the scorpion. In the Army, they call their CO and report the presence of the scorpion. In the Air Force, he calls the front desk and asks why there's a tent in his room. The Navy wonders what a tent and a scorpion are. Joke #2

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1) In World War II, a German U-boat was sunk because of a malfunctioning toilet. 2) American combat dolphins, deployed in the Persian Gulf, surrounded and captured an Iranian battleship. 3) The pen used by the military meets 16 pages of military specs. 4) At the real-life Topgun program—the one the film was based on—

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An old nearly blind marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar. He sits down at the bar, squints through his old eyes, sees a woman at the end of the bar and gives her a wave. She sees the old man, lifts her arm and gives him a big wave back, revealing a very hairy armpit.

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While you were looking, did you see a Marine standing at attention, saluting?" The cashier replies, "no, sir. I just saw an old, retired veteran lying on two seabags." A sailor tells a joke to two Marines A sailor in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, "hey, do you want to hear a Marine joke?"

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A platoon. What do you call someone who is being mean to a Marine? Rotten to the corps! What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist? A marine biologist. How does a Marine like his eggs? Semper-fried! Yo mama so fat, the Marines used her pants for a parachute. Where do peanuts go if they want to join the Marines? Camp Legume.

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Funny Jokes About Marines 1. Why couldn't the two marines play cards on the ship? Because the captain was on the deck. 2. What do you call a marine who is only a part-timer at the ship? A sub-marine. 3. What do marines like to eat in fruits? Crayon-berry. 4. Why was the marine sad? Because his pet died and he felt he now has no porpoise to live! 5.

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Conclusion. These military jokes are meant to bring a smile to your face and celebrate the humor that soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines, and military families often share. Laughter is an essential tool for coping with the challenges of military life, and these jokes remind us that even in the most serious situations, humor can be found.

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1. What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran. 2. As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, "All right! All you idiots fall out." As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention.

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6. The urinal joke. A sailor and a Marine are both in the bathroom taking a piss. The sailor finishes up and washes his hands. The Marine gets done, and then immediately starts heading for the door. The sailor stops him and says, "in boot camp, they teach us to wash our hands after we take a leak."

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Choose from military jokes such as army jokes, navy jokes and marine jokes that will bring out the military humor in the most serious sergeants. Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember Clever.

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Top 99 Funny Marine Jokes: Why don't sharks like to eat clownfish? Because they taste funny! Why did the crab never share? Because he's a little shellfish! How do oysters call their friends? On shell-phones! Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea weed! What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! Why did the fish go to Hollywood?

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The Best Short Military Jokes 1. What do you call a military officer who goes to the bathroom a lot? A LOOtenant! 2. What do you call a training sergeant who's very kind and respectful? A drill serGENTLEMEN! 3. What do hungry Marines eat? SUB sandwiches! 4. What should have been the day we chose to celebrate World Military Day? March forth! 5.